5 Ways to Get Back Yo’ Mojo

Are you suffering from boudoir burnout? Everyone goes through the bedroom blues, but a persistent unhappiness with your intimate life can really affect your overall wellbeing.

Start by answering these questions:

  • Am I happy with the amount of sex I am having?
  • Is the quality of my sex life what I’m desiring?
  • Do I want to improve my sex life?
  • How am I responsible for the sex life I have now?

Then try these 5 tips to improve your life in the bedroom and out.

Breathe.
A few moments of meditation can totally bring the zing back to your love life. Deep abdominal breathing reduces cortisol and lets your body focus on making good hormones like testosterone and oxytocin and dopamine. Just a few minutes a day works wonders (and is a common practice in tantric sex). Breathing also “puts you in the moment” instead of writing your grocery list while you’re trying to reach the big “O”!

Stimulate your senses.
There’s a reason why chocolate-covered strawberries and chocolates and champagne are big sellers for Valentine’s Day and anniversaries. Getting your taste buds involved doesn’t mean you must engage in oral sex…think of the way a chef describes their finely cooked 3-star Michelin meal: they use a string of gorgeous adjectives to describe every morsel. Music can also stimulate the left brain, bringing the limbic system (where all the good stuff happens) into the mix, so set up Pandora for a station that gets you in the mood.

Say it.
Open communication with your partner: for the love of all that is holy…tell your partner what you want! Maybe you want a different lubricant; maybe you want more foreplay or less foreplay. But it’s your responsibility to make yourself happy first, so share those desires! Don’t be afraid if someone will judge you…that’s THEIR problem. Remember you can still have a vibrant, stimulating sex life without anyone else’s help!

Mirror.
No, I’m not talking about putting one above our bed a la Caesar’s Palace in the 70s. I’m talking about eye contact with yourself in the mirror. SO many women are afraid of eye contact with their partner (or even looking themselves in the eye). Be bold! Dare to look directly into your eyes in the mirror. What do you see? A gorgeous, fulfilled woman, right? 10 seconds a day and you’re well on your way to then opening your eyes to a brand-new way to engage your partner!

Write your own Fifty Shades of Grey.
E.L. James wrote Fifty Shades of Grey to perk up the sex lives of countless women worldwide. Why not write your own? No one EVER needs to see this, but you can write yourself as the protagonist! It doesn’t have to be S&M or anything fetish-y. Just a chance to describe your favorite intimate moments. Use flowery language if you want. Use dirty language if you want. Make yourself an innocent flower or a rogue pirate queen. What are your wants and needs? This story may make you blush…GREAT! That means it is awakening your limbic system and getting your intimate imagination going.

Check out Dr. Bartos’s 4-week online course “How to have the healthiest sex of your freakin’ life” for more intel on how to “health up” your sex life!

 

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