A few of you know that I do love to write. But I mainly write about medical stuff…rarely do I ever push the envelope to really flex my Hemingway muscles (that’s not really a thing by the way).  

Recently, I was lamenting (read: whining) to a friend of mine that I was feeling “uncreative” and that I needed something NEW (don’t we all from time to time!) She said…SO DO IT! (That’s why I love her…total tough love — she’s from NYC).

So I said, Hmph. Fine! I’m gonna write a damn Haiku. But then I thought… I don’t remember how to write a haiku. I honestly didn’t remember what a haiku was (I was thinking it was a brand of sake, if I’m being honest). It just sounded like the pinnacle of creativity! And it’s October so I think I even said, “and it’s gonna be about boobs. So there!” and she said, “Ok. Cool. Do it.” Did I mention she was from NYC?

Well, crap. I got off the phone with her and realized I put myself into a pickle. Like I had any idea about haiku since 8th grade? But I GOOGLED (Yes, I do it, too.) and I remembered the ol’ 5-7-5 cadence. I wrote two haiku. One to each BOOB.


So to write a haiku you do this: 

  1. A haiku should have only three lines with a total of 17 syllables.
  2. The first line should have a total of five syllables.
  3. The second line should have seven syllables.
  4. The third line should have five syllables. Hence the 5-7-5!


I dare you to do it with me! Here’s mine below — and here’s a couple from friends of mine. It was actually kind of fun and yes I did use my fingers to count it out!  


Haiku to left boob:

Danglin’ over my heart,
she’s the eastern orb that guards
my sovereign side.


Haiku to right boob:

With that small freckle
That dexter mammalia
Is my fave, don’t tell. 


Here are some from some friends I challenged!


Barely an A cup
But still hanging on
Deflated, dejected… gone.

The beautiful Daenerys Targaryen lookalike Stephanie Hayes


Buoyant. I float like
a manatee with you two.
On land, we sway low.

That soulful podcaster from “Read to Me” Becky Karush


Share yours, too!  It takes a few minutes! 

And if you’re feeling really randy–try a limerick…I came up with this one on the way to clinic one morning…the people driving next to me probably thought I was a lunatic because I kept rhyming out loud to myself…

I once had a brassiere from Soma
But I lost it on vacay in Roma
It dropped in some pasta
So I had to say ‘hasta ‘
And now I go braless at home-a


Why do limericks feel so naughtily fun?


There once was a woman so busty
She couldn’t go out when it’s gusty
Her boobs would start flopping
And bopping and dropping
So she stayed home and let them get rusty

Stephanie Hayes


Yes, so this week’s blog is all about boob poems. But even the great poet Maya Angelou had something to say about boobs: Maya was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday… Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. She said “It’s exciting. There are so many changes (about my body) occurring every day… like my breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which one will reach my waist first!”


So let’s all write about our ta-tas ladies!  Honor the hooters, tout the tits and praise the peaks…with a poem.

Share your creation with me for a special shout-out!  (I can keep it anonymous but why not claim all your creative glory???)

Dr. B