When many women think about self-care, images of bubble baths and wine often come to mind.

Maybe even at the same time if you’re anything like me!

I’m not so convinced that’s the right move though…

Have you ever pulled out the little plastic doohickey from a new plant to read the care instructions?

If so you’d probably realize that a cactus has different care requirements than a fern does.

I mean… that kind of goes without saying, right?

Well people are a lot like plants. What works for one may not always work for another.

So why do we insist on this universal definition of self-care when it may not be what’s optimal for YOU?

So women will come into the office, and they’ll say, I’m just tired. I don’t have any desire for sex. I may be eating the entire pantry, I may be just feeling I yell at my kids sometimes. And I’m just not feeling like myself. And they say, but I’m trying to put self-care into my routine.

What do you think that self-care really means? What does it mean to you?

And she’ll say, “Well, yeah, yeah, I’m supposed to be, you know, taking some baths. And I read that one of the big influencers gets up at like, five every morning and she does some meditation. And she’s got this, this singing bowl thing where you bong on it, and it’s like, the monks use it. And it’s really relaxing. And a bubble bath, that’s what I use that self-care and a wine, wine, of course, wine and, and happy hours. Those are, you know, those are all self-care. And I was supposed to do some yoga, I think yoga is the one that’s really good for my flexibility. And, and it’s supposed to make me feel really good. And clean eating. Always, always clean eating that I’m that is my, you know, that’s my self-care routine.”

And I say, “oh, how’s that working for you?”

So the problem with self-care is we use it like a catch phrase. Oh, do some self-care. But much like the phrase sexy, we don’t define it for ourselves, someone else has defined it and manipulated it for us. So instead of us saying, This is MYself-care, what we have is, this is what we think self-care should be. And you should fit into this kind of self-care.

The same is even truer with plants. In the beginning, I thought that all plants needed the same care. They needed the same water, soil, sunlight, maybe temperature in the room. And so what I did was I treat all my plants equally. Each plant has different care instructions. So if we use blanket care instructions for all plants, it ain’t gonna work for all plants. I mean, some plant may work, but the other ones aren’t going to. Same thing, if we use the same self-care instructions for all women, it’s going to work for some of us. But it’s probably not going to work for you, or me, in the most optimal way, the way that we really want, which is to feel frickin great to feel healthy and alive and vital.

So what kind of plant are you, my sister?

Are you a prickly little cactus?
Are you a long and leggy pot?
Are you that damn philodendron or a pencil cactus? alone. And it just kind of does its thing. So what are your self-care instructions?

What would it say? Would it say not direct sunlight or prefers temperatures below 80 degrees. The first temperatures above 60 degrees can’t be in freezing temperatures. needs water once a week needs water every day needs swamp like conditions. So when we start figuring out what works, and you know what I gotta tell you, I don’t like getting up at four or five in the morning. And there’s nothing meditative about it for ME. I’ve done it for 20 something years.

If you want to learn how to apply self-care to different areas of your life, why self-care success varies from person to person, how to make time for yourself when you’re always busy, and more, go grab your beverage of choice and give this episode a listen!


Dr. B

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