O – O – O it’s magic…
OK, I may have just dated myself there with the music reference, but seriously – having the BIG O does seem a little magical when it happens. Doesn’t it? The rush of hormones through your body, the curling toes, the sense of relaxation when it’s over – The Big O is OOOOOHHHH so good!
The Big O is also a bit elusive and, believe it or not, some women have neva’ eva’ had one. Some women have them only with external stimulation, others with penetration, and some going over a bumpy road.
Really, it’s totally unpredictable.
In honor of National Orgasm Day, I am going to present you with some FUN FACTS ABOUT THE BIG O and drop a few pearls of wisdom for those ladies who may be having some trouble having one.
Orgasms BURN Calories – but put down the cookie, girls. Only about 3 calories are burned up with the Big O.
Orgasms do offer lots of health benefits, however, so don’t let the low calorie burn discourage you from seeking out your next one. Orgasms can strengthen your pelvic floor and the muscles that control your anus – which means you won’t pee when you laugh and when someone “scares the crap” out of you – it won’t be literal. Yeah!
Orgasms are good for your mental health as well , Can’t fall asleep – orgasm; feeling down – Orgasm; stressed out – ORGASM! You release a boatload of Oxytocin when you orgasm – the same thing that happens when you breastfeed, give birth, and pet a dog?!?! You also ride the Oxytocin straight into a flood of Dopamine which makes you feel good, real good. Which does NOT happen when you pet a dog – usually, unless you are like a SUPER dog person.
The majority of women are NOT experiencing regular orgasms – unlike men who climax 98% of the time. Seriously!
After loads and loads of research, however, science may have found the “secret sauce” for the female Big O. And here is the result of that study: (Psychology Today)
“ One (just intercourse): 50 percent of the women reported orgasms.
Two (hand massage and intercourse): 71 percent.
Three (hand massage, cunnilingus, and intercourse): 86 percent. “
So what’s the secret sauce? External hand stimulation, oral stimulation and then penetration – or you do not pass go and do NOT collect $200.
The Big O can not be rushed!
Men take 5 measly minutes – literally a commercial break – to Orgasm. On average we women take 20 minutes. So NO, he cannot hit it during The Walking Dead commercials.
So what if you try all these things with your partner and – nada?
Try a sex toy – make sure you clean it good, chica. I don’t want to see you with bacterial vaginosis! But a sex toy can stimulate a lazy clitoris to jump into action. We are not all built the same and your clitoris may not have as sensitive or as many nerve endings as your multiple orgasming friend.
You may have a clitoris that’s set too far away from the vaginal opening or you may have gone through menopause or a long time has passed without sexual stimulation and your clitoris is atrophying (it can happen). That sex toy can reach your clitoris and “shake it up” enough to achieve climax.
However you get to the BIG O, remember it is GOOD for you and you most likely can have one. It may take some practice, time, or battery power – but it CAN happen. The good news is that, even if you are not orgasming, you can still get pleasurable sensations from sexual activity and build emotional bonds. So while a Big O is great – it’s definitely not the be all end all. And if you just. can’t. have. one., remember that you are not alone!