Hey, babe.

Have you ever been on a diet?

HAHAHAHAAAA. Oh wait, I think I just peed a little.

If you’re a woman, then of COURSE you’ve changed up your foods for your looks at some point.

  • Restricted.
  • Binged.
  • Purged.
  • Fasted.
  • Gorged.

It’s interesting how many of us do this with our sex lives also.

I’ve loved Netflix’s show Anne with an E

For those of you who haven’t seen it, it takes place at the turn of the 20th century and shows how women were restricted:

  • physically (with a corset)
  • emotionally (still with dowries) and
  • mentally (couldn’t hold jobs and were only created to be “wives”)

We’re not talking hundreds of years ago.  The book itself was published in 1908.

And think of Mad Men which took place in the 1960s:

  • The men had dozens of affairs with women they didn’t know-it was expected
  • The women were either whores or mothers.
  • The only women portrayed as enjoying sex were considered “loose”.

Two psychologists (women, of course) a while back noted this writing Women’s Conflicts About Eating and Sexuality .  I’ve agreed with them for years about this: “Today’s dilemma for women–be fat or go hungry–and the endless variations and unsatisfying solutions to this problem have contributed to the incidence of anorexia, bulimia, and obesity. The pursuit of slimness, the obsession with having the perfect body, excessive exercise, and diet books ad nauseam are all part of this phenomenon.”

This isn’t a new concept—but it’s newly called out for every woman who has ever worried about being too fat or too sexual.  We torment ourselves thinking of “forbidden” foods, we count calories with a CPA’s precision (or carbs, or macros, it’s all counting, babe).

Food has become a battleground for women—craving it, fearing it, controlling our lives.  The battle between abstinence and indulgence. Every. Damn. Day.

The diet culture has destroyed our idea of how to be sexy.  In fact, I believe that many of our current sexual issues—low libido, inability to orgasm, feeling “too busy” stem from these food concerns.

And it’s destroying our health.  Therefore, we as women must decide to destroy it, too. Watching a food commercial and not eating is like watching porn and not having sex.

I’ve done it. For years, I engaged in restrictive eating. And it affected my sexuality, my inner sexy and my physical sex life.

I like to say…if you have to go pee and I say…HOLD IT. What happens?  You have to go pee more.  Eventually the urge to pee overtakes you.

This quote is from the movie Spanglish, and is one of my favorites:

“American women, I believe, actually feel the same as Hispanic women about weight. A desire for the comfort of fullness. And when that desire is suppressed for style and deprivation allowed to rule, dieting, exercising American women become afraid of everything associated with being curvaceous. Such as wantonness, lustfulness, sex, food, motherhood. All that is best in life.”

This is food and sex, gals.  Two things that should be the best in life.

And I want you to have the best in life, my love.



And this is the topic of the next two weeks on the ME Spot Podcast! If you haven’t already downloaded and subscribed, please do so!


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