*please note this is an edutainment series about Westeros’ Women’s Health Clinic but these women’s issues are da REAL THANG.
My, my, my our little Arya sure has grown up since her days at Winterfell poking around with Needle.
Our girl’s a woman now! I think I might have suspected she would be losing her virginity to Gendry. I just caught the vibe early on.
Now, no one throw me into the Keep. I get the end of the world was a-comin’, and with an entire army of wights at the back door who cares about the future?
That boy’s been around the block a few times. I don’t know what the prophylactic situation is in ye ole 7 Kingdoms, but I think it might be hard to battle the white walkers with a case of PID raging.
The stench from a case of Trichomonas is gonna lead ’em right to ya!
Unfortunately, even in the rubber age, young women (and MATURE, really those active adult living communities are a HOTBED of STIs) still aren’t bagging the cucumber, wrapping the banana, or covering the carrot – and we are getting sick!
The Clap, Herpes, Syphilis (also called the French Gout—it sounds much prettier), Gonorrhea, Genital Warts, HIV – they are all still causing major outbreaks. In fact, 1 in 100 people in Denver alone have the CLAP! They need to post a travel warning for Alberta, Canada because their Gonorrhea and Chlamydia is spreading like fire through a dry bush, and don’t get me started on the Donovanosis that ulcerates genitals on both men and women causing them to rot.
Yes, CROTCH ROT IS REAL!
Good news, they are mostly preventable with a 50-cent condom. Free if you go to your local King’s Landing health district.
Everyone, even little miss Arya, has to take the reins on their own sexual health. You can even get a female condom if your partner complains that the Magnum is, LOL, too tight! Or, if your partner has ZERO regard for your physical health – ditch ‘em. Me thinks they won’t be sticking around if you get sick, anyways. Littlefinger always gave me the douchebag boyfriend vibe—I mean, he pushed his wife out the moon door!
Sex can—and should– be fun – but sex can be risky (which is probably part of the appeal for some, just ask Jamie); but seriously, like who can get aroused with a White Walker breathing down your neck!?!)
So, bag it up or back it up and do not make the mistake of having unprotected sex, like the little Lady of Winterfell Arya – who we will hope has learned her lesson. I think ‘Gendrya’ is a great match and should totally rule the Iron Throne together, but at least last Sunday, she should have told Gendry, “NOT TODAY.”
FYI – Here are some more excellent, 21st century, methods of avoiding picking up a boobie prize after a roll in the sheets. As always, spread the word that you can prevent STIs by:
- Getting tested for STDs regularly is also part of safer sex, even if you always use condoms and feel totally fine. Most people with STDs don’t have symptoms or know they’re infected, and they can easily pass the infection to their partners. So testing is the only way to know for sure whether or not someone has an STD.
- Getting tested protects you by letting you know if you DO have an STD, so you can get the right treatment to stay healthy and avoid giving it to other people.
- Sticking to sexual activities that don’t spread STDs — like outercourse or mutual masturbation (masturbating while with each other) — is a great way to safely get sexual pleasure and be intimate with another person. But if you’re taking off underwear and touching each other or having any kind of sex, using barriers is the safer way to go.
- Not drinking too much alcohol or doing other drugs. Getting wasted can make you forget how important safer sex is, and you may accidentally make decisions that increase your chances of getting STDs. It’s also harder to use condoms correctly and remember other safer sex basics when you’re drunk or high.
- Never having any kind of sexual contact with another person. But that doesn’t work for the vast majority of people — most of us are sexually intimate with other people at some point in our lives. So if you’re going to have sex, making it safer sex is the best way to help you avoid getting or passing an STD.